The
road back from radiation/surgery/biopsy is neither straight nor smooth. Of
course, I don't think we're going back to where we were January 23rd, two days
after my fifty-seventh birthday and the day before my routine mammogram that
would open the door on this horrendous journey. Some days are good, some are not so good.
There are no pain-free days, but mostly the pain is fleeting, usually striking only once or twice in a day.
Then
there was yesterday. The breast was painful from the moment I awoke, and at
times I was on the verge of tears, including while in the grocery store. It did
not calm down until mid-afternoon, but reminded me of its distress to some
degree the rest of the day.
Take
something, for heaven's sake, you may be thinking. I've never really
"liked" taking aspirin or its substitutes. Following surgery, the
strong painkillers (opioids?) did not seem to help. I tried something
over-the-counter, but it didn't seem to help either. (I say "seem" because it might have been worse without them, I don't know.) I took Advil for several
weeks towards the end of radiation, and I hope I did no lasting damage to other
organs. It certainly did not address the discomfort or swelling.
Today
was not as bad as yesterday. Some of the same sensations, but not the same
intensity.
I
have heard too many doctors say "that's normal" way too often on this journey,
and I know women have said they feel pain and sensations for years following
this course of treatment. But this can't possibly be normal, can it? Because I'm not sure I'm up to this.
