Ghandhi, Prop 8, and Christians

My best friend in the world is a “Fundamentalist” Christian, whatever that means. This woman has been my friend for over ten years. To me, she’s as close to being a “good” Christian as it’s possible for us flawed human beings to be. She has a finely honed sense of justice that has gotten her into trouble with people who think it’s OK to skirt the ethics line when it suits them. She loves the Lord with all her heart, all her soul, all her mind, and everything else in her life flows from this. She’s a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother. She is my confidante – the person I could tell any secret to and know that it would be safely kept. And she believes that the only way to get into heaven is through Jesus Christ – you must believe that Jesus is your savior. If you don’t believe this, then you are doomed. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I’m an Evangelical Lutheran. I believe that we are saved by Grace. This doesn’t mean we’re free to go out and act like fools. Being saved by grace is a huge responsibility. We must love our neighbor as ourselves – even when those “neighbors” aren’t so lovable. We are responsible to our fellow human beings and everything we do should reflect Christ’s love for us. But when I’m asked if I believe that the ONLY way to heaven is through Jesus, I’m not sure. Who am I to say that Mahatma Ghandi isn’t in heaven? He was a Hindu, and although he read about and admired Jesus as a prophet, he didn’t profess that Jesus was his savior. Does that mean the gates of Heaven are locked against him?

Someone once told me that her husband loves being a Lutheran because he “doesn’t have to check his brain at the door.” We Lutherans do think and talk and debate – a LOT. We don’t always agree on the issues of the day. Same gender marriage has us divided, and it’s not along the predictable lines you might think like the “Under 30s” and the “Over 70s.”

Here in California, the issue of same gender marriage is at the forefront because Proposition 8 is on the ballot this election. I work in a field that has traditionally been accepting of gay and lesbian people. But that was before the California Supreme Court decided that denying same gender couples the right to marry was a violation of their civil rights. Now we’re all trying to figure out where we stand on this divisive issue.

When two of my coworkers recently announced that they were getting married to their respective long-time partners, I was unprepared for the upset it caused. We celebrate all the big life events of our coworkers – new babies, marriages, birthdays. Now we were being confronted with a new reality. For most of us in this workplace, marriage is about love and commitment, no matter the gender of the people who choose to marry. But some coworkers think it’s a sin for same sex people to marry, and they strongly disagree with celebrating this event in the workplace. Some were offended that we signed cards, bought gifts, had a party. We are divided – mostly silently – but divided nonetheless. We must all, with our widely different opinions and beliefs, maintain a professional relationship. It is difficult to reconcile my feelings of disappointment in some of my coworkers with my sense of respect and admiration for these same caring people.

I believe that two adult human beings should have the right to marry whether they are a man and woman, two women, or two men. That’s a basic civil right that should not be determined by religious beliefs.

I believe in the separation of church and state, as outlined in the First Amendment to the Constitution, which states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The First Amendment guarantees that the government will not let any religion dictate the laws that govern all the people. By the same token, it also guarantees any religion the right to exist – be it Lutherans, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, my “fundamentalist” best friend’s church, and on and on.

But back to my “fundamentalist” Christian best friend. She and I are trying to “agree to disagree” on this issue. I know she’s praying for my soul, hoping that I’ll come to my senses. She’s asked me to listen to a CD of her pastor teaching about marriage and the Bible. I told her that I would listen to the CD and pray about it, but that it probably wouldn’t change my mind. As for me, I pray that our friendship is able to weather this “tempest in a teapot,” because she has been a dear friend and it would be sad if this drove a wedge between us. As I’ve matured (notice I didn’t say “gotten older”) it’s become apparent to me that my women friends are more precious than diamonds and losing the best one would be devastating.