Growing Up & Away

Well, she’s 26 ½ and OD is finally moving out. It’s not the way I dreamed it would be, her finding a little place, me helping her shop for appliances, dishes, towels, etc. She’s going out with a bang – or maybe not. You see, she hasn’t spoken to me, except in response to direct questions, since October. She comes and goes silently and when she’s here, she hides out in her room. She’s angry – at me, at the world, at life. But since she can’t take her anger out on “the world” she aims all of it at me and her sister. We are the lense through which she focuses her perceptions about what is wrong with her life.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I just can’t summon up the emotions that seem to be warranted here. I’m not angry or sad. I love her and will miss having her around, but I’m coveting the master bedroom she’s had since we moved into this house 2 ½ years ago. In all the years of being a parent, I’ve never had the master bedroom, wanting my daughters to have the bigger rooms. I’ll finally be able to set up my craft tables and have a space to work on my sewing projects. When she takes her three cats and one 75-pound dog, my house will stay cleaner. And my pet food bill will drop to whatever it costs to feed my 10-pound Chihuahua.

I pray that some time apart will help her to refocus her life and give her the maturity to see that her problems aren’t my fault or YD’s. I’m certainly not a perfect parent, and there are many things I wish I’d done differently. But if love counts for anything, then I’ve loved my daughters with all my heart since the day I first knew they were growing inside me.

OD, I wish you the best that life has to offer and will be praying for you. If you need anything, you just have to ask. Love, Mom